


Alphabet

by Rynn336



Series: Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic [3]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Fights, Frontotemporal Dementia, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-21 14:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7391749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rynn336/pseuds/Rynn336
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagito isn't one to hold a grudge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alphabet

_Is it just me or has this time we’ve spent come undone?_

_I know forever is not what you want_

_I’ll pack my bags and brush it off, brush it off_

Their fights have never bothered Nagito. He and Hajime both know one of them will end up apologizing at some point, in some way. Hajime will usually say it outright, sometimes accompanied by a gift, like flowers or a new book for Nagito. Nagito…well. It depends. Most of the time, Hajime will just know when he’s sorry. He won’t say anything, and Hajime won’t say anything, but they both know the fight is over. Nagito only apologizes for the little things. Sometimes, those are the only things he knows how to apologize for.

He’s never been good at fixing things. He spends so much time touching up the tiny cracks in their walls that it’s always a surprise to him when he doesn’t know how to fix a cave-in.

 

He has always prided himself on his ability to read people. Hajime has been practically glued to his phone for the entire week of spring break, barring Nagito’s emergency room visit, and he jumps every time it rings.

Nagito tiptoes closer to Hajime’s room, carefully, closer. Hajime’s listening to a message on speaker phone, and Nagito peeks into the room to see him rapidly scribbling in his notebook as his phone spews medical jargon in the voice of Jin Kirigiri, the Hope’s Peak headmaster.

“…extended bifrontal craniotomy. The procedure will involve altering the limbic system of your medial temporal lobe, to produce better long-term and short-term memory and effectively muffle or silence your emotions entirely. Your cerebellum as well will be modified to improve your coordination, and balance. We also hope to remove the pain sensors in your parietal lobe.”

Nagito stares at Hajime’s back as the other boy stops writing, stops breathing, his pencil pushing into the page so hard the tip breaks off.

…What?

“We understand this is a difficult decision, but we would be honored for you to agree to do this for us. For the longest time we have run Hope’s Peak to study talent, but we believe that with your consent we will finally be able to reproduce everything we’ve discovered about talent and create the ultimate Ultimate. I cannot thank you enough for even considering this. Should you agree to the procedure, and should it be a success – for I must warn you, we have only tested it on animals thus far – you will be known as the Ultimate Hope. Thank you again, Hinata.”

Hajime taps his phone and buries his head in his hands. And for the first time in a long time, Nagito is utterly speechless.

When small children sing the alphabet, they round their mouth around the letters with practiced diligence. They don’t give up. “A, B, C…D! E, F, G.”

Nagito hasn’t said his ABC’s in years, but now, as he struggles to find a foothold, the floor vibrating to the breaking point beneath the weight of Kirigiri’s words, he squeezes his eyes shut, rooting around in his head for something to ground him, a foundation, something he knows. _A, B, C._ He says them over and over in his head until Hajime says his name and he realizes he’s whispering them, and he can’t stop. “A, B, C,” becomes “ABC” becomes “ _ABC!”_ and he presses his hands to his head, piercing pain stabbing through his skull as he stumbles backward, barely keeping himself from falling over. Hajime is shouting his name. He feels hands on his shoulders and his eyes snap open. “What. The _fuck._ Was that?” he yells, and it’s Hajime’s turn to step back, fear sparking in his eyes.

 

Fights don’t bother Nagito, but change does. A symptom of behavior variant frontotemporal dementia is, as the name suggests, personality changes. His mind jumps from Nagito to Nagito, personality upon personality, countless Nagitos twirling around in the ballroom of his mind, the spotlight jumping between them, jerky and uncertain.

He can’t stop changing. Kaleidoscope. Kaleidoscope. But Hajime is the same. Always. An art gallery. Until, all of a sudden, like an actor in a one-man show, he bursts onstage as the antagonist, and Nagito’s kaleidoscope refuses to focus on him.

 

Hajime’s fear isn’t an unfamiliar sight to Nagito, and he hates being reminded of that fact every time he scares him. He tries to move the spotlight. Another dancer. Another dancer. Any other one, not this one. “What…was that?” he asks again, quieter, almost a whisper, his voice breathy and quivering from the effort of keeping himself from yelling.

“I…” Hajime takes a deep breath and looks him in the eye, recovering himself. “That was the headmaster.”

“No. Shit.”

“He wants me to become an Ultimate. He wants to make me an Ultimate.”

“Why.”

“You heard him, Nagito.”

“I did, Hajime. But I’m wondering, why do you want to do it?”

“I—”

“And don’t tell me you don’t, because if you weren’t interested Kirigiri wouldn’t have bothered to call you.”

Hajime stands tall. “I’m not sure about it. But I want to be an Ultimate. I love Hope’s Peak, you know that, and if I can help them – not to mention become an Ultimate by doing so – I don’t see what the problem is.”

“Hajime.” He takes a deep breath, pulling himself together, reining in his fury. “They’re going to mess with your brain. They don’t even know if it will work. They’re going to change _you.”_

“They’re not going to change me.” Hajime frowns in confusion. “They’re just going to make me smarter and more athletic.”

“Really. That’s all they’re going to do? Think about it. Would you really qualify as an Ultimate if that was all? You’re a little smarter, you’ve got a better memory, you're more athletic.”

Hajime opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out, and he lets his mouth fall shut.

“Take it from someone with an already fucked up brain. You don’t want one.” He turns and leaves, walking toward the guest room, his room. That’s really all he is: a guest. He can’t do anything to change Hajime’s mind, because he is just a guest in Hajime’s life, and when he leaves, Hajime will simply clean up after him and move on, with his new mind, with his new self, with his new space.

 

They’ve always been good at fights. Even with Nagito’s unpredictability and Hajime’s stubbornness, they have always been quick to make up. They don’t raise their voices, or call each other names, because they, more than anyone, know the fragility of the human spirit. The strongest people have always been the most brittle.

They trusted each other. But Nagito is horrified to find a new crack in their walls, arcing high over his head, gaping and black, ready to swallow them whole.

 

Nagito doesn’t look up from his laptop when he hears a knock at his door. He remains silent when it comes again. And again. When the knock comes the fourth time, he calls, “Yes?” keeping his gaze fixed on the screen.

Hajime pushes the door open and steps in, not bothering to turn on the light. Moonlight spills from the window on to the right side of his face, casting the left in shadow. “Nagito.”

They’re both silent as he settles down on to the floor beside Nagito.

The game flashes blue, black, red, as Nagito carefully maneuvers his character across the platforms. “What are you playing?”

Nagito shrugs, but he doesn’t move away when Hajime leans gently against him. This is Hajime’s sorry. This won’t make anything better, but neither will a grudge. They don’t have any time for that.

He doesn’t tell Hajime that if he closed the game, his browser would be filled with thirteen tabs, all the same: _Google Search: Can You Fix A Cave-In?_

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> God, that summary is lame, I'm sorry.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it! I felt like the pacing was a little off, and I wasn't sure about my Nagito, but it was a fun one to write! 
> 
> Man, this series is so damn angsty. And it gets worse, believe me. 
> 
> But! It's fun to write, and I always love feedback, so let me know in the comments what you liked and what I could've done better! As always, thank you again for reading!


End file.
